What I've Learned Dealing with Disappointment

One of the less attractive parts of author life.

A stack of books from an event that didn’t go the way I’d hoped. (Not the bookstore’s fault—they’re a gem!)

Being an author is hard. That’s not a new insight. Of all the challenges I’ve faced—the uncertainty, the lack of income, the time management—worst has been the disappointment.

I’ve always set higher expectations for myself than anybody else has. (Why? My therapist and I would love to know.) Publishing my debut novel was no exception. Even with all the warnings I received—with all I know about the world and its systems!—I convinced myself that publishing could be a meritocracy. That, once I passed the barrier of entry, writing an excellent book would be enough to ensure it sold respectably and received acclaim.

Lol. Lmao, even.

I don’t know D.J. Rosenblum’s exact sales numbers, by choice. But I do know it’s not getting the reception I hoped for. The end of this year has proven especially hard, as best-of lists come out and D.J.’s not on them. Reading those articles—hoping beyond reason D.J. might appear despite all the evidence to the contrary—is a blade that never dulls. Yet each time, I have to stitch myself up and take an Advil. I can’t prevent the pain, but I can take care of myself afterward.

There’s a lot more progress I can, and will, make in self-care. This update is one of the steps I’m taking. My every instinct tells me not to share when I’m suffering. (And, boy, does “suffering” feel like a self-indulgent overstatement.) So, call this a 180: I’ve been disappointed. It’s been hard. It’ll keep being hard. And I’ll keep getting through it.

The good parts don’t negate the bad; they coexist. I wonder just how many times I’ll need to learn that lesson.

Abby’s Pop Culture Pop-Up

Earlier this month, New York Magazine published Andrew Ridker’s “A New Jewish Plotline,” examining contemporary Jewish fiction to ask: “In the wake of Gaza, should Jewish American writers be tackling different stories?” It’s a provocative essay, positing that rather than “grappl[ing] with the paradox of power and persecution that defines Jewish life in the U.S. today,” much contemporary American Jewish fiction either rests in history or invents a contemporary crisis to mimic the historical ones which inform our identity.

I don’t disagree with the article, per se, but I do find it incomplete. Ridker cites only three modern novels, published in 2016, 2017, and 2021—none too recent. He does not consider prominent modern Jewish novels like those of Taffy Brodesser-Akner, Ruth Madievsky’s All-Night Pharmacy (2023), or Jason Diamond’s Kaplan’s Plot (2025). He does not take into account Ilana Masad’s tremendous 2024 essay on “Holocaust Beach Reads” for the Maris Review, although it would support his point. And Ridker does not acknowledge his narrow focus on literary fiction: Jewish genre fiction and children’s literature have exploded within the past decade and are much more ambitious in scope and subject than the stories Ridker names.

More to the point, within this essay, Ridker does not define “Jewish fiction” or any derivative thereof. What makes a story Jewish: Its author’s faith? The primacy of Judaism in its plot? Or something ineffable that none of us can pinpoint? It’s a hard question to answer, and I don’t envy Ridker the task. But I do think his essay suffers from this absence.

To be clear: I still don’t disagree with Ridker’s findings! He identifies a long-gestating problem in contemporary diasporic Jewish identity—one which I think precedes, though it has been accelerated by, Israel’s crimes in Gaza. Look at Emily Tamkin’s Bad Jews (2022) or Dov Waxman’s Trouble in the Tribe (2016); look at Michael Mirer’s 2017 essay for Jewish Currents, “Jewish Identity Without ‘Otherness.’” I think my broad agreement with Ridker accounts for my disappointment in his essay’s flaws: This is a vital and compelling political and literary analysis, and it is underserved—and therefore undermined—by the author’s underreporting.

D.J.’s Digest

The New York Times’ viral baked feta recipe is incredibly versatile. I recommend following its instructions and changing out the tomatoes, broccolini, etc., with fall ingredients like butternut squash, kale, and gnocchi. A pork sausage would round out these flavors nicely.

This Month’s Favorites

There was actually a pair of these, on either side of someone’s front steps, but (wonder of wonders) I didn’t want to photograph a stranger’s house.

Coziest Coffee Shop goes to… Café Joy, a new café in DC’s Shaw neighborhood. Very cute, chill spot. Get the pesto caprino ciabatta sandwich!

My Kind of Kidlit goes to… The Ghosts of Rose Hill by R.M. Romero. I’ve been reading ghost novels to inform my current project (tehe) and this one—Jewish YA, in verse, with a smidge of fantasy—was a moving delight.

The Most Excellent Elephant goes to… a statue spotted on one of my walks around DC. #HouseGoals. (Above.)

Announcements

• D.J. Rosenblum Becomes the G.O.A.T. remains available wherever books are sold! You can also use my template to recommend it to your local library or indie bookstore.

• I’m almost done with my slate of public events, but I have a couple school visits coming up and a writing workshop for kids at the Capital Jewish Museum on December 14. Make sure to send the link to families in the DMV!

• To balance the ~ energy ~ of my first note: I’m so grateful for the good things that have happened for D.J. over the past month! My dear friend and former roommate, Natachi Mez, led a wonderful conversation about D.J. Rosenblum hosted by Columbia College Women. (You can watch the recording here.) I joined a fantastic Jewish Kidlit panel at the Brookline Booksmith with authors Sacha Lamb and Emi Watanabe Cohen. I signed copies of D.J. at Belmont Books, where store owner Chris has been one of D.J.’s biggest champions—even making the book a staff pick! And Laura Simeon, the Young Readers’ Editor at Kirkus Reviews, featured D.J. in a write-up of “6 Novels on the Young Side of Young Adult.” Send these to any of your reader friends!

Your support for D.J. Rosenblum Becomes the G.O.A.T. means the world. Thank you for reading!