Who Will You Lean On?

A question aspiring artists need to ask themselves.

The last paragraph of my author bio. There’s a reason I credited my friends. (Screenshotted from my website.)

The difficulty of forging an artistic career is surmounted only by the difficulty of being a human adult. That’s why it’s so important for working artists to build community.

Writers, in particular, may be pictured as solitary creatures. And it’s true that I generally work alone. But it would be impossible to build a writing career, or even to make a respectable attempt, without folks to lean on when times get tough: people I know and trust who stand ready to meet my challenges with grace and my frailties with love.

That’s been especially true over the past month. First, I faced formidable professional deadlines. Then, personal crises made the challenges I thought I’d be facing obsolete—and foisted a whole new (deeply unwelcome) set onto my shoulders.

I hope as few people as possible face my particular version of when-it-rains-it-pours. But this kind of rug-pulling can happen to anyone. It’s easier to manage such challenges if you have mythical things like “savings” and “benefits.” Without those—and often, even with them—community isn’t a nice-to-have. It’s a need.

So, if you’re reading this as a working artist, here’s my advice this month: build your own community. Invest time in your friendships, in and out of the arts. Treat people how you want to be treated so they know what kind of support you need. Practice asking people for help with little things so, when big things come up, the asks won’t be as hard.

That last piece of advice is a real “do as I say, not as I do.” I’ve long been terrible at asking for help of any kind. But I wouldn’t have been able to get through the past month had I not spent much of the past year practicing this skill. If you’re as nervous as I was, let me reassure you: Most people are kinder than you think and more generous than you hope. They won’t think you’re weak for asking for help. They’ll think you’re human, like them.

Humanity is our most vital asset as artists. Embrace yours, on and off the page. Ask for help. Give it even more freely. It’ll make your art better, and your life.

Abby’s Pop Culture Pop-Up

The film Kiss of the Spider Woman came out on my birthday last year and blipped out of theaters three seconds later. A flight finally gave me a chance to watch it without paying Amazon. I loved it. An adaptation of a Kander & Ebb musical, Kiss follows Luis Molina (Tonatiuh), a trans woman, and Valentin Arregui (Diego Luna), a political dissident, thrown together as unlikely cellmates during Argentina’s Dirty War. Their relationship evolves in part through a story Molina tells about a film in which the famed actress Ingrid Luna plays two roles, Aurora and the Spider Woman. Jennifer Lopez plays all three distinct characters.

It’s not a perfect movie. But it’s a beautiful, brave, surprising one, not quite like any others I’ve seen, and it feels like a thoughtful reflection of our political moment. Kiss was also produced by Artists Equity, a company Ben Affleck and Matt Damon started in 2022 with the aim to provide more profit-sharing for cast and crew. I think this is a laudable goal, and I’d like more weird and brave movies to get made, so I think more of us should watch films that fit the bill. Kiss of the Spider Woman could be a good start.

D.J.’s Digest

I haven’t cooked much this month—too much going on (derogatory)—but by far my favorite food-related moment was when my friend Angela* gave me vanilla beans from her recent trip. On a whim, I placed the beans in little cups around my room, and now the whole space smells like fresh vanilla. This fragrance has singlehandedly kept me sane for a few nights. I love it.

*Angela is an author, too! Her debut middle grade graphic novel, Lu and Ren’s Guide to Geozoology, is one of my favorite reads of the past year. Get a copy if you haven’t yet.

This Month’s Favorites

Local students’ drawings at Prim’s Cafe in Shaw.

Coziest Coffee Shop goes to… Prim’s Cafe, a new spot in DC’s Shaw neighborhood. It has a range of seating, lots of tea, a cozy ambiance, and a green color palette, as if it’s just for me. Best of all: they have local students’ artwork hanging as decoration. (See picture above.)

My Kind of Kidlit goes to… Firekeeper’s Daughter by Angeline Boulley. Another YA hit that deserves the hype, and a revelatory insight into modern Indigenous American communities.

The Most Excellent Elephant goes to… the new elephant paintings I got from a friend of a friend. My bathroom needed more pachyderms. Many thanks to Lucy and to Angela of the vanilla fame, who’s really having a banner month when it comes to giving me things I like.

Announcements

• P.S. I’ve alluded to many people who have supported me. I love them all. Yet I have to give a special shoutout to my friend Hayden. She is one of the best people I know, extraordinarily competent, generous, creative, funny, and kind. Only the rarest people can mother me: She is one of them.

  • I would not be surviving this current spate of challenges without Hayden’s time, texts, calls, voice notes, time, hospitality, hospital visits, professional resources, time, personal fortitude, calmness, care, and time. I love her so much. I hope all of you reading this have a Hayden in your life. But I know you don’t, because she is singular. No offense to your people—I’m sure they’re great, too. XOXO.

• I’ve had a spate of school visits recently and loved them all! The week of April 13, I’ll be in New York City. If your school, library, synagogue, book club, or other organization would like a visit from an award-winning author, let me know. I’d love to chat.

• D.J. Rosenblum Becomes the G.O.A.T. remains available wherever books are sold! You can also use my template to recommend it to your local library or indie bookstore.

• I’ve made my own signed bookplates! If you’re a bookseller or librarian and want to sell signed copies of D.J. Rosenblum, reach out. I’d love to send you some.

• Barring an unexpected change, I should have great news in the coming months. (Knock on wood, fingers crossed, etc.) Keep an eye out!